I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
