I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
