Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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