so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
