we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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