he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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