I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
