From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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