Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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