What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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