quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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