my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
