i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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