jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
No stitches, just platelets and will power
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
