there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
