I can text with my tongue
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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