i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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