so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
