Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
