Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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