why didn't you poke me back
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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