There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
