Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
