Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
