p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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