He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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