when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
