You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You are a genius and a whore.
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