this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
