HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
