smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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