I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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