He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
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You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
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Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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