I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
