You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
