what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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