thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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