Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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