somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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