Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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