dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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