I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
