Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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