4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
