I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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