i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
