Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
