who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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