Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
