Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
