That's intense
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
