Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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