I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
