talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
