her vagine was all disorganized.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
