whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
