Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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