mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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