dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
