apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
