I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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