I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
