And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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