I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
