Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
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