you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
