If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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