it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
