So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
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I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
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Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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