why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
