Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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