nut hugger
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
