My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm jealous of your bromance
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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