Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
